Joy, Part 1

It is my pleasure to share the news that Josh is on the mend. Over the last several days, I have found myself "happy-shy" in regard to his progress because I am afraid to hope that the three-month ordeal is actually ending. To be truthful, I'm a little ashamed at my doubt and subsequent lack of joy. As I was praying in regard to this attitude glitch the other morning, Psalms 51:12 came to mind: "Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." Yes, I am indeed in need of joy restoration!

I am also finishing reading Hudson Taylor's autobiography, and I have been struck with the fact that Mr. Taylor had such joy simply in his relationship with God. He was a man who truly delighted in the Lord. He writes of his surrender to service, "The presence of God became unutterably real and blessed, and though but a child under sixteen, I remember stretching myself on the ground, and lying there silent before Him with unspeakable awe and unspeakable joy." There are many such passages in Mr. Hudson's book.

Because my blatant lack of joy coincided with reading about Mr. Taylor's joy and the recollection of Ps 51:12, I thought it might be a good idea to look at the entire chapter of Psalms 51. I'm still in the process of picking this chapter apart and am thoroughly enjoying it.

Just after David begs for the restoration of the joy of his salvation, he pens these words in verse 13, "Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee." Again, I thought of Hudson Taylor, an amazing missionary to China and the founder of China Inland Missions. Not only did this man have true joy, he had an incredible burden for the souls of men. I want to share a few quotes from his book demonstrating his burden:

In reference to his experience providing medical care to a dying man with a hardened heart Mr. Taylor writes, "I could bear it no longer. Bursting into tears, I crossed the room and said, 'My friend, whether you will hear or whether you will forbear, I must deliver my soul,' and went on to speak very earnestly to him, telling him with many tears how much I wished that he would let me pray with him. To my unspeakable joy he did not turn away, but replied, 'If it will be a relief to you, do.' I need scarcely say that I fell on my knees and poured out my whole soul to God on his behalf...within a few days he definitely accepted Christ as his Saviour...I have often thought since, in connection with this case and the work of God generally, of the words, 'He that goeth forth weeping, and bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.' Perhaps if there were more of that intense distress for souls that leads to tears, we should more frequently see the results we desire. Sometimes it may be that while we are complaining of the hardness of the hearts of those we are seeking to benefit, the hardness of our own hearts, and our own feeble apprehensions of the solemn reality of eternal things, may be the true cause of our want of success."

Later in the book, Mr. Taylor shares about a Chinese man who drowned because onlookers hesitated to assist and only grudgingly did so after Mr. Taylor agreed to give them all the money he had with him. Mr. Taylor had just shared the gospel with the drowned man, but does not believe the man had yet had a heart change. He writes, "To myself this incident was profoundly sad and full of significance, suggesting a far more mournful reality. Were not those fisherman actually guilty of this poor Chinaman's death? Assuredly they were. And yet, let us pause ere we pronounce judgment against them, lest a greater than Nathan answer, 'Thou art the man.' Is it so hardhearted, so wicked a thing to neglect to save the body? Of how much sorer punishment, then, is he worthy who leaves the soul to perish, and Cain-like says, 'Am I my brother's keeper?'... Let us remember, let us pray for, let us labor for the unevangelized Chinese; or we shall sin against our own souls."

I plan to share more about what I am discovering about joy in Psalms 51, but this joy-evangelism connection was the first thing of which I took note. Dear friends, may I say that I believe the majority of us fail to win many souls to Christ not for lack of opportunity but for lack of joy we should have in our own salvation. May I take that a step further and suggest that our absence of joy comes from a lack of understanding just what a precious Gift we have in Christ. We do not appreciate the awesomeness of the gift, therefore we do not sense urgency in sharing that gift. I am making this a matter of fervent prayer! Stay tuned for more of Psalms 51...

Let Your Light So Shine

For Josh

A broken basin

Might disguise

A Divine plan

To let your Light

So shine before man,

But your vessel's in

The Master's hand.

Moved with Compassion

"And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean." (Mark 1:41) Jesus, at the request of a leper who recognized Jesus' power, was moved with compassion. He touched an untouchable out of compassion.

I ask the question...when is the last time I was moved with compassion. When did compassion motivate me to action without self-regard? Furthermore, when did compassion move me to personally touch individuals I have not taken time to know and love, people who might make me uncomfortable if I have not compassion? There is a world of sin-diseased people who need their lives touched by Jesus. I am His hands. I am His feet. I show His heart. Or do I? Do you? Oh, that I will be moved with compassion!

The Path Less Traveled

The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes" (Ps 119:71) This verse, albeit quite true, has always made me squirm! The principle is certainly not something I care to equate with "life more abundantly". In practice, the trying of our faith accomplishes much. It forces us to question and confirm God's statutes as they apply to life. I've been pondering some of the promises of God, particularly promises that relate to the way or path in which He leads us. When I read things like "the path of the just is as a shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day", the words "shining light" and "perfect day" bring an image to mind that is not always compatible with reality. While I understand the path is not always easy, perhaps my definition of difficult has favored the lighter side. In the process of wrestling with some of these promises, I recalled the story of the Israelite's flight from Egypt. They were desperate to escape slavery and go to the land God promised them, "flowing with milk and honey". The way to the land was extremely difficult. There were daunting obstacles in their path. Over and over again God removed those obstacles, and in doing so one would naturally assume their faith grew. Perhaps it did to some degree. However, when they were finally ready to enter the land they met with their greatest obstacle -- themselves. The men who went to spy out the land admitted that the land was indeed "flowing with milk and honey", but most of them were taken back by what they perceived as giant enemies in the land. I can hear them now..."you mean we came all this way and faced all those obstacles and this is the land -- full of more obstacles?" I think they believed that when they arrived in the place God was leading them, their battles would be finished. What a disappointment for them -- if they were looking through men's eyes. Two of the spies were excited. Sure, there were some enemies in the land, but hadn't God always been faithful? The land itself was amazing!

-

They came to the proverbial fork in the road. Would they take the path of faith and enter the land? Most did not. Most were done battling. They had had enough drama, enough excitement. They were ready to rest and take it easy for a while. They chose to diverge to a more pleasant-looking path. They spent the rest of their lives wandering, without purpose. Oh, but those who did get to go into the land -- they would say without a doubt that taking the path less traveled made all the difference.

-

"There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Pr 14:12) The other side of that coin would be the ways of life. Sometimes the ways of life just don't seem right. That path doesn't look too full of life! It is extremely uncomfortable. But it is the path of life. The path in which we can fully experience God. He didn't promise us a life of ease. In fact, He promised just the opposite (in this life you will have tribulation...). However, He also promised us life more abundantly. Life with purpose. Life that means something now and in eternity. We can choose to diverge onto a path that seems easier, but what a life we will miss! We will be the peripherals, the wanderers. Ultimately, there will be no regrets when we choose to take the path less traveled --the path of most resistance. We will have times we strongly desire to step off the path. But, my friend, choosing the path of faith truly does make all the difference. Stay the course. The promises of God lie ahead, and in those promises the bitter battles of the path fade to naught.

Beam Me Up, Scotty

I think it's time! :o)

Anguish

Agonizing

Necrotizing

God in question

Undeniable

Inviable

Self in question

Hasten to halt

The Shaking and The Shack

If I were to succinctly summarize 2008, I believe "foundation-shaking" would be fitting. I often write about the fact that God has frequently shattered the box, forcing Himself outside of my understanding. For some, the elusive nature of God causes complete disbelief, anger and bitterness. They completely turn away from Him because their understanding of Him and their life experience cause too much dissonance. It's too uncomfortable to see the dissonance through to resolution. For others, it is an invitation to a smorgasbord faith -- picking and choosing those things about Him that are palatable, appealing to the mind and soul. I have had my faith challenged on many levels over the years, as do most women and men who contemplate the spiritual. I have questioned and I have wrestled with the doctrines in which I was trained up. I used to believe there is a specific season in all our lives in which our faith is challenged and forced to be personally defined. Many years into my own discovery of faith, I now know there are many of those seasons in life, perhaps one continuous season... I am reading a book, The Shack, by William Young. Several months ago, before the onset of Josh's illness, it was recommended to me by a couple of friends. Because I was number 600-and-something on the waiting list at our library, I requested this book for Christmas. I didn't know what I was getting into. It is difficult to read. It truly challenges one's image of God. My own image of God has been defined in part by the church, in part by my own wonderful father, and in part by my interpretation of my experiences in light of my understanding of the Bible. I believe to have faith in a God one can fully comprehend would be at best depressing and at worst pointless, a waste of precious time and resources. In spite of that, my quest to understand Him continues. Josh's illness is definitely one of those seasons in which my faith is being severely challenged -- a defining moment, if you will. My response to the challenge is a renewed effort to understand God. It is interesting that I am reading The Shack at this particular season in life. The main character has a peripheral faith in God due to deep scars left from his childhood and, more recently, "the great sadness" of the traumatic loss of a child. His desire to believe in his image of God has forced him to repress anger and bitterness that he believes are sins. Rather than letting those "bad" emotions out and grappling with them, he chooses to keep his faith at a safe distance and ignore the gnawing questions he feels he shouldn't ask. In one weekend, he's forced to asked these forbidden questions. This book and my current challenges are tapping on the walls of my God box once again. The shattering of those walls resonates deep into my spirit, crushing it into millions of pieces. I read in Psalms 24:18 that "The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart: and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." I desire that closeness. I am in a perfect position to attain further intimacy. What will I do with it? James 4:6-10, "...he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud and giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God...Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you...Be afflicted and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." My heart is broken. My spirit is crushed. Will I proudly turn my back on my faith because God is not logical? Or will I choose to humbly believe His mercy endures forever and His love is pure. Will I choose to go deeper in a relationship with the God I cannot comprehend. Will I allow the season of mourning and affliction to sever or submerge? "I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope...Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." (Ps 16:7-9, 11) So let it be.