All Stopped Up and With No Way to Flow

John 7:38-39 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)

A year or two ago I spent quite some time studying Ps 51. I was particularly intrigued by verse 6, "Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom." You can read more detail about that in my blog, but the main thing God showed me is that that the inward parts include every little cavity of my inner man. Interestingly, the word "belly" used in John 7 above also means the whole thing, every cavity.

I also learned that the hidden part means "to stop up, shut up and keep closed." I get an image of God pouring His Spirit into me at the time of salvation, much like the top of the waterfall in this picture. However, my river is down to a trickle because of the "rocks" in my inward parts -- those things that are hidden.

At the time God first revealed this truth to me, I prayed earnestly that he would show me anything hidden. I believed those hidden things to be mostly related to sin in my life, and indeed, sin does play a big role in blocking the rivers of living water. However, I am convinced it is more than this.

When the children of Israel were finally allowed out of the wilderness brought on by their sin of unbelief, they were commissioned to go and inhabit a land of abundance promised to them generations before by God Almighty. However, this promised land was already inhabited by enemies, and many of those enemies were very intimidating. Read about their history sometime. You will find that although they did have some amazing victories through God's power, they fell short of complete victory. They did not persevere to conquer all the enemies in their land. Instead, they chose to dwell with them, thinking there was room enough for everyone. Inevitably, this would affect their walk with God and they would fall into sin. This was a pattern in the nation of Israel all throughout the Old Testament. They failed to press on to completely destroy every enemy in the land and thus never fully occupied the promised land.

2 Corinthians 10 says that our battle is not against our flesh but our battle is spiritual. Many of the big sins we think about that might block our flow of living waters are sins of the flesh. Yes, those do need to be removed. But 2 Corinthians 10 says our battle is spiritual and the weapons of our warfare are mighty through the pulling down of strongholds. What is a stronghold? In combat, it is an area of land that actually belongs to one army that has been fortified and occupied by the enemy army. This stronghold may be big or it may be small, but any that is left in place, represents an incomplete occupation and an incomplete victory.

Spiritually speaking, we are in dangerous territory when we allow these strongholds to go unchecked. May I be bold enough to say that I believe a vast majority of true Christ followers do just that? 2 Corinthians 10 talks about casting down imaginations and EVERY high thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bringing EVERY thought into obedience. This is not limited simply to those thoughts we would automatically label "sinful". Hebrews 12 says that we are to lay aside every weight and sin as we patiently run this race. There are weights, rocks, blockages that are not purposeful sin, but that weigh us down in this race and serve to stop the flow of living water.

Satan is the father of lies. Jesus says this in the gospels. In a recent blog I wrote about my "dandelion rejection". From that small incident as a child, I bought into a lie that said I would be rejected when I tried to do something kind for people. From that point until the day I recognized the lie, my behavior flowed from the fear of rejected acts of kindness and I was not even aware of it! Thus, the flow of living water was slowed down. How many other lies are there that block that flow? I suspect a great many!

It is easy for me to understand how children who grow up in abusive or otherwise traumatic environments would have a lot of rocks to remove from their rivers. Unfortunately, I have been very slow to realize that we all receive injuries that lead to lies and ultimately to enemy fortresses in territory that rightfully belongs to God. Thus, the flow is slowed to a mere trickle, a shadow of what it should be if we allowed God to identify and remove the hidden parts from our inward parts.

I know I have mixed metaphors throughout this blog. It is, admittedly, fairly poor form in terms of writing. However, I pray that the readers will take heed to this message. How many otherwise strong, committed believers in Jesus Christ do you know who truly flow with living waters? Personally, I don't know many at all. I know a lot who trickle, myself included. I challenge you to pray a simple prayer and then persevere with God to complete victory, His total occupation of your inward parts. I am praying this prayer...

God, reveal to me the enemy strongholds in your blood-bought territory of my inward parts. Make me to be completely and thoroughly occupied by you so that your rivers of living water may flow from me and refresh all those whose paths you allow my path to cross. I thank you and praise you in advance for doing this work in my life and pray many of your children will arrive at this truth as well.

My Cup Runneth Over

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Psalms 23:5

In the presence of the most intimidating enemies in my life thus far, God has prepared many feasts for me. That word "table" is translated from the Hebrew word "shulchan", which means "of king’s table, private use, sacred uses". Tears fill my eyes when I recall some of the precious tables the King set for me when I felt I was surely in the shadow of the valley of death. Those were sweet times of fellowship -- precious times to cry out to my Savior, my Father, my Daddy. Times He held me and gently directed me to follow His truth even when every fiber of my flesh screamed in opposition. During those seasons when the winds of my life were swirling in confusion, God's table was a sturdy refuge. When battling those winds weakened me such that I couldn't possibly take another step, His table was a source of nourishment that gave me the supernatural strength needed to simply not grow weary in well doing. When the darkness of my circumstances permitted only the tiniest light to illuminate merely one small step in front of me, His table fed me with promises like, "the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee" and " the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day". God's table. I am in awe. I am humbled.

Then, as though His table weren't enough, He abundantly anointed my head with his healing, empowering oil. God poured the healing oil of His Holy Spirit over the wounds inflicted by my enemies. In all honesty, I believed those wounds to be fatal, or at least permanently debilitating. How could I possibly walk again? How could I even begin to look into the eyes of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Surely they would see how unsightly my enemies had left me. No, I must not get too close to them lest they see my wounds and scars.

But God... God anointed my head with oil. God poured His own Spirit directly onto my wounds. Oh, it stung at times, but in the end, the stinging eased and the scars miraculously transformed into something new and beautiful. Gradually, as those wounds have healed, God has shown me this simple truth.

My cup runneth over. Let it run out to those who, too, are wounded in battle that they may also feast at the table of the King and experience the healing and empowering of His anointing oil.

Mother's Day 2010

Here is how my family blessed me today!

Judson: It started with the 1st grade mother's day tea Friday afternoon. They sang songs: "You Gave Me Your Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie", "My Mom, the Light of My LIfe", "Mother's are My Kind of People", "My Mom". He has showered me with paper flowers ever since and today made me the cutest card with a "heart tree" and these words: "nothing can stop the (picture of a heart) tree...Rosis are red. Vilites are blue. I dont car. I Love you. evin if im mad or sad. I love you. rosis are red. Vilits are blue."

How cute is that?! Judson, thank you for blessing me with tons of hugs and kisses and expressions of your love. I love you so much, buddy! Keep using your loving heart to bless others! (tears...)

Mikiah: Mikiah put a lot of time and creativity into a cute and beautiful card with hearts and flowers and a picture of mother and daugthter on front with these words:

I bet I can think of words to describe you that start with every word of the alphabet…
Awesome, Beautiful, Christian, Diligent, Elegant, Funny, Gorgeous, Helping, Important, Just, Kind, Loving, Mommy, Nice, Outstanding, Patient, Queen, Radiant, Sweet, Touching, Unique, Virtuous, Wonderful, X…umm, Yawns, and Zesty!

Kiah, thank you so much! You bring so much joy into my life. Always, always, always use your creativity and compassion to bless those around you. (more tears...)

Josh: Josh bought me a dozen beautiful roses of varying colors and sang me this song he wrote especially for Mother's Day 2010:

She held her little baby boy tightly in her arms
Praying blessings over him, that God would seize his heart.
Little did she know the impact that her prayers would make.
The boy prays every day to thank God for his mom of faith.

Chorus
And I am who I am today
Because your prayers have saved
And I praise the Lord every day
That I have a mom like you.

Several years later, her seeds began to grow.
This little boy of six asked her just how he could know
That he would spend eternity wrapped in God's loving arms.
Then mother prayed with son and led him to the Lord.

As this boy grew older, he began to dream.
At 14 he flew off to share the gospel of the King.
His mom encouraged him to follow the leading of the Lord.
So, with his mom behind him, he took up his Holy Sword.

Soon after this, sickness struck, the son's life fell apart.
As her little boy neared death, it began to break her heart.
But praise the Lord his mom still prayed.
Because of her, he's a live today.

Mom, I'm growing older, soon I'll be a man.
But I'll rmemeber everything that's made me who I am.
Your love for me, your care. Your words of wisdom, too.
I just hope someday that I might find a wife like you.

Josh, never ever ever stop writing your songs that make me cry (from joy, of course). I love you so much and pray you'll keep blessing others with the gifts God has blessed you. Thank you! (Even more tears...)

Jim: At my request, my wonderful husband grilled hamburgers. Yes, that's what I was craving! He made every last bit of lunch which was very, very yummy! He and the family cleaned up every bit of the mess. But, the most touching thing was the prayer he prayed before lunch. More, more, more tears. Next month we will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversay. God has greatly blessed us this year beyond my ability to express. This, beyond a doubt, is the beat year yet.

Honey, what can I say? I love you beyond expression. You are amazing and I love what God is doing in you and through you. I can't wait for the adventure of the next 25 years!

Thank you, most amazing family, for a very memorable day. Thank you, Most Amazing God, for a wonderful family.

Now for a nap. I'm exhausted from all that crying! :o)

Let Jesus in Your Ship

John 6:15-21 When Jesus therefore perceived that they would come and take him by force, to make him a king, he departed again into a mountain himself alone. And when even was now come, his disciples went down unto the sea, And entered into a ship, and went over the sea toward Capernaum. And it was now dark, and Jesus was not come to them. And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs, they see Jesus walking on the sea, and drawing nigh unto the ship: and they were afraid. But he saith unto them, It is I; be not afraid. Then they willingly received him into the ship: and immediately the ship was at the land whither they went.

As I was grappling with the Holy Spirit last night regarding some unfamiliar waters in which I find myself, He led me to this passage in John. He reminded me He has control over my unfamiliar waters, asked me to recognize him in them, and showed me not to fear. He challenged me to willingly accept him into my life's boat tossed about in the waters for the purpose of arriving in the place He wishes me to go. Praise God!

What waters do you find yourself in today? Will you willingly let Jesus into your vessel? He has a destination for you! Life and it's storms are not random.

Examine Yourselves

I Peter 1:15-16: As he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

Recently, as I look at the concept of being holy, and I couple that command with the words of 2 Corinthians 13:5, "Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith," I am overwhelmed with a desire to do just that. My prayer today, and hopefully every day from hence forth, is that God will show me any "manner of conversation" in my life that is not holy. I have a strong desire for a deeper understanding of holiness. I know we cannot be seen by God as holy except through the blood of Jesus. I understand that doctrine. But I also see God commanding us to live holy lives. This is not conforming to a set of rules set forth by man, but conforming to the image of Christ. At the risk of using a Christian cliche', I think perhaps asking the question, what would Jesus do, is a pretty good idea! I think holiness encompasses more than my finite mind can comprehend, but in the context of I Peter 1, holiness is generated by strong, holy thinking (verse13), and by abandoning our old lifestyle that did not reflect God (verse 14). It sounds so simple, but how much of what I think, say and do reflect true godliness and how much reflects patterns that have been established from childhood that perhaps are not godly, are unholy? At present, my spiritual quest is focused on this matter of holy living as dictated by God. I believe it will fall somewhere between careful conformation to man's religious rules and regulations and permissiveness in the name of liberty in Christ. I'm not convinced that the practice of true holiness even belongs on the same continuum with the two... God, I pray you would show me my heart as it compares to your standard of holiness.

The Long Defeat

The Long Defeat - by Sara Groves

I have joined the long defeat

that falling set in motion

all my strength and energy

are raindrops in the ocean

so conditioned for the win

to share in victor's stories

but in the place of ambition's din

I've heard of other glories

I pray for an idea

and a way I cannot see

It's too heavy to carry

and impossible to leave

I can't just fight when I think I'll win

that's the end of all belief

and nothing has provoked it more

than a possible defeat

I pray for an idea

and a way I cannot see

It's too heavy to carry

and impossible to leave

We walk a while we sit and rest

we lay it on the altar

I won't pretend to know what's next

but what I have I've offered

I pray for a vision

and a way I cannot see

It's too heavy to carry

and impossible to leave

I pray for inspiration

and a way I cannot see

It's too heavy to carry

and impossible to leave

2 Corinthians 4:8 ¶ We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; {in despair: or, altogether without help, or, means}9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.13 We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;14 Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

My heart at times grows so heavy I believe I cannot bear it any longer. I want so badly to stop, but there are those things in life that are eternal and are worth the fight. Be not weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Not by might, nor by power, but but His Spirit!

Provoking Parents

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Perhaps the most horrific form of selfishness comes in the form of selfish parents. I have seen example after example of neglect -- physical, spiritual, emotional -- on the part of parents toward their children. I have seen the devastating results of the selfishness. Parents, it's time to grow up. It's time to let go of your own perceived needs and strive for higher ground. You get angry at your children and their behavior, not even recognizing that you are the primary reason they act out. Open your eyes -- open your hearts!

And those of you that think you can live a double life, hiding the real you from your children...think again! This is perhaps even more devastating than those who openly reject and neglect their children. How does a child reconcile the father who speaks one thing with conviction and lives quite another thing, supposing that lifestyle to be hidden from the eyes of his loved ones? The only person you are deceiving is yourself. Unfortunately, you are not the only person affected by the deception.

At a time when your love for your children should provoke you to strive for godliness, your lack of godliness is causing your children to struggle with their own. Shame on you! Grow up! Humble yourself before your God and your children. You will not be sorry if you do.