Light Versus Darkness

From The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

"...our Bible was the center of an ever-widening circle of help and hope. Like waifs clustered around a blazing fire, we gathered about it, holding out our hearts to its warmth and light. The blacker the night around us grew, the brighter and truer and more beautiful burned the word of God... Life in Ravensbruck took place on two separate levels, mutually impossible. One, the observable, external life, grew every day more horrible. The other, the life we lived with God, grew daily better, truth upon truth, glory upon glory. Sometimes I would slip the Bible from its little sac with hands that shook, so mysterious had it become to me. It was new; it had just been written. I marveled sometimes that the ink was dry. I had believed the Bible always, but reading it now had nothing to do with belief. It was simply a description of the way things were -- of hell and heaven, of how men act and how God acts. I had read a thousand times the story of Jesus' arrest -- how soldiers had slapped Him, laughed at Him, flogged Him. Now such happenings had faces and voices... Fridays --the recurrent humiliation of medical inspection...But it was one of these mornings while we were waiting, shivering, in the corridor, that yet another page in the Bible leapt into life for me...I leaned toward Betsie, ahead of me in line. Her shoulder blades stood out sharp against her blue-mottled skin. 'Betsie, they took His clothes too." Ahead of me I heard a little gasp, "Oh, Corrie. And I never thanked Him. . ."

I honestly cannot put into words the impact this book is making on my heart. I only pray it will translate from my heart into my actions. Could it be the only way to focus solely on The Light is to be completely surrounded by darkness? Yet, anything that is not Truth is darkness. Perhaps it is only when the darkness displaces our comfort we are able to focus on The Light. Is, then, our inability to have total focus due to the fact we become comfortable with a certain amount of darkness? Could this explain a lack of passion even among committed Believers? Oh, that all darkness would displace my comfort and cause me to see only The Light, holding Him up for all to see.

The Breadmaker's Workout

Now, now, I'm talking about the image on the left, but if the right side works for you...

Today I was kneading bread. The bread I make requires a 20-minute kneading period, and as I was beginning the process, contemplating just how long 20 minutes can seem, I started thinking about a comment my friend, Laura, made. She said something to the tune of a longer kneading time is probably just what flabby arms need. Hmmm... I have already incorporated a leg workout into my weekly cleaning at Dramatic Truth. Could it be that I may be able to also make good use of my kneading time? So, I tried it. As I folded and pushed, I did so with vigor, adding leg lifts with each push -- back, then side, then angled at the side. I also tried a few squats. For good measure, I even tried to turn backwards and knead the dough to get my triceps into the workout. Ummm, well, that one is going to require a bit more practice... Perhaps I will come up with a specific arm/leg workout for 20-minute kneading periods. I could add some music and no doubt make millions! Okay, so maybe working off the effects of too many carbs while making more carbs doesn't make that much sense, but, hey, I've got to squeeze in those workouts whenever I can! Yes, I'm an ex-aerobics instructor gone domestic...

You know, though, there is some "food for thought" in all this bread talk. As I was kneading and doing my little workout, the thought occurred to me that I am much like that bread dough in the hands of my Maker. He puts specific ingredients in me -- His Spirit, His Word, other Christians, life experiences, etc. -- and He works all those things carefully together for a purpose. There will be times when I can sense His hands working me over -- times of pressure, times of gentle forming. There will be other times of rest when it seems as though He has completely forgotten His little potential "loaf". Other times, there is intense heat! Ultimately, God desires us to grow into the image of His Son, who is called the bread of life (John 6:35, 48). So all those "ingredients" God adds to our lives will, according to Romans 8:28-29, "work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son" -- little bread-of-life look-a-likes! So, The Breadmaker's Workout? Philippians 2:12-13, "Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure."

Seventy Times Seven

I often suffer restlessness due to this thing called forgiveness. Sometimes the restlessness is caused by another individual's lack of forgiveness, but most often it is my own struggle with forgiving. Normally, I grapple with this thing to resolution for a relatively short period of time. At other times, the struggle is deep and seemingly never-ending. Those struggles are almost exclusively due to repetitive similar offenses by the same individual. Those, my friend, cause me great sorrow! The sorrow is initially self-focused, but inevitably turns to godly sorrow as my lack of forgiveness blocks my relationship with my Heavenly Father and ultimately causes a ripple effect in all my relationships. The unforgiveness I just can't seem to let go of takes root in the form of bitterness of soul. From that root comes an abundance of "weeds" which cannot be contained. Jesus knows how vital it is to forgive. When asked how often we should forgive, he replied, "...I say not unto thee, Until seven times, but until seventy times seven," implying there should be no limit to our forgiveness. There are times I cry to God with my whole heart, "God, I just can't forgive this person again. The hurt is too deep. It has happened too many times. How can I possibly forgive again?" God answers me simply, "consider him (Jesus) that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin." How often has God forgiven me the same offense? Seventy times seven. So, as I consider Jesus and the everlasting mercy of my Heavenly Father, what right have I to hang on to unforgiveness? Oh, my friend, I know how hard it is! "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible!" Perhaps we have expected that the multiple times we have forgiven this individual in the past should have brought some sort of change. Surely, my efforts toward this person cannot be in vain! God admonishes us not to be weary in well doing, for in due season we will reap if we faint not. God does not specify, however, the fruit that we will reap. He does not say, you will reap the kind of relationship you desire. He does not say, you will reap salvation for that individual you keep forgiving. He simply promises we will reap if we faint not. Perhaps that harvest is an outpouring of the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. Perhaps it is a greater understanding of and appreciation for the depth of the forgiveness bestowed upon us by our Heavenly Father. My friend, we cannot limit God by our expectations. We must let Him work in our lives in His Way. Yes, I have been hurt many times by this person. Yes, that pain is deep! And yes, I will pray for an abundance of God's grace to carry out Paul's admonition in Col 3:12-13, "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering: Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave (me), so also do I". Oh, God, that I would look more like You in this area of my life. Forgive my unforgiveness and please bestow upon me an abundance of your grace, without which I am unable to obey this important command. Thank you, that as I ask for forgiveness, you readily give it -- even though I have asked multiple times! Now, my friend, let's endeavor to go and do likewise...

A Fuzzy Funny

Fuzzy: "Mom, when was I born?"

Mom: "October 5th, 2002."

Fuzzy: "October 5th?!!! That's my birthday!!!"

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

The "Rock" of which I speak is Jesus Christ. The "hard place" -- my heart. I at times find myself in the very struggle Paul writes about in Romans 7:18-23, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. ..." In other words, Paul's human desires and godly desires battled just as mine do. I want so much to always do what pleases God, and I know those choices are ultimately for my own good; BUT my old nature -- the one that I still allow to kick, scream and breathe -- wants so badly to react and do what brings only temporary satisfaction. The temporary satisfaction ultimately leads to far less fulfillment and joy. As long as this body is living on this earth, there will be the battle between the Rock and the hard place. Fortunately, these battles get fewer and farther between. Unfortunately, when I do have them, they can be monstrous in nature. It brings much comfort to know that Paul, the instrument God used to write most of the New Testament and win countless souls to Christ, also struggled in this way. Even Christ battled his human nature in the garden before he was arrested and crucified. He knew what was ahead. He knew the suffering he must endure -- not just the physical suffering but the torture of being separated from his Father while bearing the burden of the sin of mankind. His Godness would determine this suffering was ultimately the most valuable choice. His humanness still resisted. How encouraging to know this road I travel has been traveled victoriously by countless numbers before. Take courage in this, dear friend. The battles we fight, the temptations we endure are but for a short season -- "a vapor", I believe is the metaphor the Bible uses to describe the duration of our lives. The reward is for eternity. Bon voyage!

Family Night Pics -- A Great Game of Chickenfoot!

A Matter of Death for Life

I've died this death a thousand times. Ever feel that way? Most of us have ongoing circumstances in our lives that produce a sort of death in us. Perhaps they are relationships that cause pain. Perhaps they are just the daily walk we have that requires us to give up something we love in order to attain something greater. Perhaps the circumstance involves both -- a painful relationship that requires us to give up something we love in order to attain something greater. Whatever the case, I think everyone can relate to the feeling of a little part of us dying. Sometimes we take little notice. Sometimes those little "deaths" come so frequently and intensely they become quite painful and we can't help but sit up and take notice!

Recently our pastor has been speaking basically about the need for Christians to live a sacrificial life in order to produce life (see my link for Pastor Phil's blog). We see that principle all around us this time of year -- death producing life, seeds that must die in order to produce beautiful fruit. We also see that principle lived out perfectly in the life of the Lord Jesus Christ, for without His death, eternal life and abundant life would be impossible. John 12:23 -25 , "And Jesus answered them, saying, The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn (seed) of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." Perfectly said -- death brings life.

When Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:31, "...I die daily," the Greek word translated "die" can mean, "of trees which dry up, of seeds which rot when planted". In the context of Paul's ministry, he poured out his life to the point of death so that the seeds he produced could bring forth much fruit. And they did.

Yes, we have difficult, painful circumstances that sometimes seem to cause "a thousand deaths" within our souls. However, if we can view those circumstances through the scope of eternity, is not the eternal state of the souls of mankind worth those "deaths" we experience? Be not weary in well doing, dear one, for in due season you will reap if you faint not! Die the deaths and watch life spring forth, as beautiful and radiant as the One Who give us Life!

Loneliness

Lonely - alone - loneliness... wordnet.princeton defines loneliness as the state of being alone or in solitary isolation. Yes, that fits, but it's so much more...

The times I have felt most lonely are when I am surrounded by people with whom I feel no intimate connection, yet they all seem very connected to one another. Sometimes that loneliness comes even when surrounded by the most intimate people in my life. It is at those times it is most overwhelming. From time to time, that innermost person in me cries out to be known, yet I find myself lacking the ability to express that person or perhaps to even find that person. Then there is that part of me that is plagued with a deep belief that no one is really interested in that person, even if I could find her. There is nothing special about her -- no particularly unusual talents; no interesting adventures or stories to relate; no flare for speaking with interest about current events or other newsworthy discussion. My life is very full, but not at all exciting to most people. I have a big vision and big goals that I know are of utmost importance; and even though many would agree those goals are important, few would understand the apparent mundaneness of a life focused on those goals. I think if we were all honest, most of us would admit there are times when we are lonely -- even to the point of heartache. It is in those times I find comfort, once again, in my relationship with God. I know from His Word that he has felt everything I feel. He was an outcast -- rejected by those closest to Him in His most difficult hour. He was definitely misunderstood and most definitely could not express all that was within Him even to those closest to Him. (Their minds could not have comprehended that!) It is through my relationship with Him I find true companionship. Psalms 145:14-21 says, "The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down. The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them." He satisfies the desire of every living thing -- including those deep desires other relationships just can't touch. Perhaps that "loneliness" deep within us, then is by Divine Design...

Jane, stop this crazy thing!

How do we get from this....

to this...?

Can sombody please get this log out of my eye?

Luke 6:42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye.

The last few days I've been so preoccupied with a recurrent "mote" of a very dear friend that I've completely missed the fact I have a log of my own I should be dealing with...

My son's PTSA Reflections Contest Video...

... starring Squink and Fuzzy. Too cool -- totally God-based yet won first place in the state of Missouri! Josh had the opportunity to stand up in front of about 300 people and give the testimony that he made this video because he believes we can make a difference when we do all things through the power of the Lord Jesus Christ, who is his Lord and Savior and who guides his life. In fact, not only did he get to give that testimony and show the video, he "just happened" to be the last contest winner of the several art and age categories to receive his award at the PTSA Reflections recognition. So, this particular ceremony ended with that room full of people hearing and viewing that in Christ we can do all things. Don't ya just love how God does that? :o)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M_tqtU0pVc

Precious Promises Part 2

2 Corinthians 12:9, "...he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..."

Precious Promises

Isaiah 43:2-3
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior..."

Focus, people, focus...

Proverbs 4: 25-27: "Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil."

There are so many examples of focus preceding success. I think it was the movie, "The Greatest Game Ever Played" in which the main character had developed the technique of drowning out the crowd and the ghosts from his past in order to focus on the goal of winning his game. This is excellently portrayed in the movie as everything fades into the background until there is nothing other than the ball, the hole, and the golfer in sight. Oh, how our lives as Christians should mimic such focus!

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Hebrews 12. The chapter begins by encouraging us to look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our salvation as we patiently run this race. In this "looking", we are to consider Jesus and what he suffered as he focused on the goal. Our suffering certainly cannot be compared! Later, verse 15 says, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled..." Looking diligently at what? At this Jesus, the author and finisher of our salvation.

It is so easy for us to lose focus and take ourselves out of the race when we become bitter -- and there are so many opportunities for bitterness in life! When bitterness takes root in our lives, we fail to allow God's grace to flow to us and through us, we become "troubled", and many (family, friends, coworkers) become defiled by our bitter lives. I believe verse 15 holds a vital truth for victory in the Christian walk -- look diligently unto Jesus to overcome the temptation to become bitter in life. Bitterness kills. It destroys. It is the a root from which nothing good is produced (Ephesians 4:31). When we identify bitterness in our lives, we must focus on Jesus until all other distractions, voices and ghosts from our past fade into nothing and only Jesus -- our goal, the Author and Finisher of our salvation-- is in sight. Then, and only then, will we be able to run successful and patiently this race called the Christian life. Have you taken yourself out of the race? Get up! Run on, dear one, for your Savior awaits at the end of the race with open arms and opportunity for great reward. The past matters not -- how will you run now? His love and grace abound toward you if you will only focus on Christ alone. Run, friend, run!

Be Still

Ever seen a drowning person on TV? Hopefully you've never seen it in real life or, worse, been the drowning person! At any rate, most of us know what can easily happen when a rescuer comes on the scene. The drowning person is in a state of panic and very often will fight the rescue efforts. Unless they stop fighting, those rescue efforts may well be in vain.

Psalms 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God..." Often I have heard this verse explained in the context of busyness. Certainly, that context is a valid one. However, "be still" means more than just slow down. It means to relax, abandon, let go -- quit fighting. Without a doubt, God is our Rescuer. How often do we find ourselves in situations that overwhelm us and make us feel as though we are drowning? How quickly we forget that our Rescuer is right beside us! Rather than relax and let Him do what He does so well, we start to kick and scream and panic, striking out at anything within our reach and grasping for anything to hold on to rather than clinging to our Rescuer. Oh, that we would learn to relax in the able arms of our Rescuer!

Ack, not again!

It's a little after 9:00. My day was planned out to the minute...

Alarm - ugh! What's this? The cat used my bathroom for a litter box again? That's like three times in the last 24 hours -- AND we have mice. She's on thin ice, I'm telling you... Clean it up. Oh, better put hubby's jeans in the dryer so he can wear them to work today. Okay, now go run. Back from run, and it was good, but cold and windy. I'll grab a cup of coffee, read my Bible and then get to work in time to get in two hours before I become taxi driver for the kids. Oh yeah, my husband is working today so better fix his lunch real quick. Oh, yes, and the newest healthy biscuits I started last night need to be finished. Okay, I can do that real quick and still have time to read my Bible and work an hour-and-a-half before taxiing my kids to their various activities...

Let' see, lunch for hubby first. Oh yuck! The lettuce for his daily salad is bad. It's okay, I'll make him a sandwich and maybe he can pick up a side salad on the way to work. What? Only one piece of bread -- and it's the dreaded heel! So, he gets half a sandwich with lots of ham and the bread turned with crust-side in. I'll slice him up some veggie sticks and give him some dip for that, peel and orange and call it lunch. He'll be hungry after work...

Now, for his breakfast -- hot cereal should work for everyone but the oldest. It's easy and foolproof. Oh, it's bordering on lumpy, and what's that? Did I really just pour cumin on top instead of cinnamon? Oh, I think I can get it out. There - much better! A little milk on top and it tastes just fine. Oops, okay a little too much milk. Oh well, it will thicken up. What's taking him so long? It's time for him to go. Oh, here he is. "Honey, my jeans didn't get dry because the dryer was set on fluff dry." Oh, my. I swear I did not touch the setting. I NEVER use fluff dry. Who messed with the dryer? (Probably that stupid cat!) "I don't think I want that cereal -- it's too runny. I'll survive until lunch". (Wait 'till he looks at his lunch...sorry, honey!)

Okay, the biscuits! This dough is -- well, unusual. Okay, I'm giving up on the healthy versions -- yes, even the "delicious buttermilk whole wheat biscuits your family will love". I'm going back to the white flour, fully-fatted buttermilk that my family can actually bite into...

My daughter ate the cereal and a biscuit. "It's not so bad...". Bless her heart. Now, for the oldest's breakfast. Hmm, no bread, no biscuits, nothing for pancakes -- don't have time anyway because if I hurry I can still get in at least an hour of work so I won't have to work so much this afternoon. Oh, I'll make him eggs and put them on those English muffins I still have left. I won't scramble the eggs -- I'll poach them in the microwave. I absolutely can't mess that up. Beep -- oh, that's not quite done. I think I'll do, hmm, yes 17 more seconds. What was that noise? No, the one just a split second before the beep? Did that egg actually explode all over my microwave?! Here, son, but you better do your own salt and pepper on the eggs today...

Oh, it's too late to work before we go now. I'll work two hours between classes and the boys' hair cuts, but I really need to work four today. Okay, marginally fed family, kitchen wiped free of any evidence of the disastrous morning, and I'm headed to the shower. "Mom, I'm going to take a shower..." Looks like we might be late for classes. It's either that or another hat day... I wonder if it's safe to drive this morning? I know one thing, I'm definitely making chili for dinner. I KNOW I can't mess that up -- can I? Maybe I should ask hubby to make it...

I can squeeze in two more hours of work at dinnertime while the fam enjoys the wonderful chili. Did someone say they were going to do laundry and clean the house today? Oh, look! My unintentionally wise youngest just woke up and brought me a box of Wheaties to pour a bowl for him. You really can't mess up Wheaties...

p.s. Do you have any idea how many typos were in this blog?

Overwhelmed...

How awesome to have the opportunity to move from being overwhelmed by our problems to being overwhelmed by the intimacy and sovereignty of God in those problems. "What is man that thou art mindful of him...?"

God Boxes

I believe from the moment of our birth, God is working to draw us into relationship with Him. In fact, I believe that each event we experience in life is Divinely Designed to bring us into relationship with Him, or, if we are already his child, to draw us into deeper, more meaningful fellowship with Him. Ask any authentic Christian -- especially those who came to know Jesus in or after their teen years -- and they will tell you they can look back on their pre-Christian life and see God's fingerprints all over the pages of their story, pointing them to the Truth. Ask any authentic Christian who is walking closely with their Savior, and they will also tell you that each event, whether painful or joyous, in their lives has ultimately drawn them nearer to their Lord.

If you at this point have no idea what I'm talking about, let me encourage you to honestly search out the Truth about Jesus. There is much spiritual speak out there, but there is only One Truth that will complete us. I challenge you to honestly, unbiasedly search for Him. God says, if we seek Him diligently, we will find Him. In fact, He says that he pursued you with His love. Love is not always warm, good feelings and happy events. True love does everything possible and necessary to make us complete and fulfilled. True love remains securely in place when our emotions seem to derail. True love does not depend on anything we do and is unconditionally faithful. Do you know that kind of Love?

If you do know that kind of Love, how's it working for you? Or should I say, how are you working with it? I've been a bit distraught this week at how angry some Christians are. I was recently reading an inspiring biography. There were parts of this book that sent my spirit soaring as I realized during the darkest trials of their lives, the subjects of this book were completely enthralled with God. They learned faith through the faithfulness of God. They learned, as did Jesus, according to the book of Hebrews, obedience through suffering. Yet, my rapture at God's sovereignty demonstrated in their lives was squelched as I read the angry scrawlings written in the margins by a previous Christian reader. This reader complained bitterly about non-essential doctrines they noticed in the writing. Was that really what the author was trying to communicate? While I was being uplifted by the nuggets of truth this couple discovered and shared, this individual got angry? I, too, have my convictions about some non-essentials, but I hope do not get angry and miss spiritual blessings when other true Christ followers don't share all those convictions. I'm sure I have at times, unfortunately... This is only one type of angry Christian. We come in all different shapes and sizes, disillusioned about all different sorts of things. I, too, have been an angry Christian. Then, it happened...God shattered the box.

What box, you might ask? I believe everyone who has a relationship with God bases their ideas about God on previous experiences. Those experiences are as varied as -- well, our ideas of God. As we learn what the Bible teaches about God, we neatly tuck those truths inside the box we have designed to hold an incomprehensible God within our comprehension. Then, when life or church or other Christians or this world start pressing the limitations of that box, we get uncomfortable, then bitter and angry. Been there, done that! "But, God...this does not compute. I did what you told me to do, and you didn't do what I expected you to do. Why, God, why?! " "But, God, shouldn't all Christians worship as I do? They have left their first love, no doubt! Am I the only one still faithful?" "But, God, that Christian sinned, and their sin really hurt me." "But, God..." My life finally reached a point that my God-box was being stretched so far, I had to either abandon my faith completely or admit that my understanding of God was severely limiting the hand of the Almighty in my life. The box was shattered -- into a million pieces! I only pray I'm not constructing another box (albeit larger). Don't misinterpret what I'm saying. God's Truth is always God's Truth. God's methods always stay within that Truth. But God himself says his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts -- as high as the heavens are above the earth, so his thoughts and his ways are above ours. Think on that -- I mean really think. We might pull out that little nugget of truth when it's convenient for us, but what about when it hurts us a bit? What about when our pride is at stake? What about when everything we thought we knew is being challenged? Take the challenge! Let God out. Oh, Christian, when we experience the abundance of God's grace flowing unrestrained into our lives, then we become vessels of that grace from which fountains of living water pour into the lives of others -- others we have so harshly judged in the past; others who might be blinded or deceived; others who will experience an eternal hell if we keep snubbing our noses at them; others who desperately need to grow in Christ, but we can't help them because we don't like their Bible version or their music or their hairstyle or their whatever. The apostle Paul challenges us to examine ourselves to see if we be in the faith. Are we being honest? Do we really trust the Sovereign God? How do we respond when life doesn't fit into our God-box? Are you full and flowing over with gratefulness, grace and love at the fact that the Almighty, Creator and Holy God of the Universe was despised and beaten and crucified for you? If you don't have that joy, that love for others -- Christians and Non-Christians alike, why? God himself says, Love covers a multitude of sins. His certainly does. Until we each realize, I mean really grasp the fact that at our core, we are all equally bad with equal need for a Savior, I fear we will keep those boxes intact and remain angry Christians, useless tools in God's hands.

I wish I could say I've learned this perfectly and have now arrived. Uh, no... I think that comes later-- in heaven. I only pray that I will allow God to continue to reveal Himself to me and continue to reveal myself in light of who He is. For what? For purpose in life. Eternal, meaningful, fulfilling purpose. Do I limit Him by my unbelief or by my "Christian" boxes? Perhaps that would explain that feeling we sometimes have of purposelessness an unrest...

If this doesn't stir me...

IF HELL MUST BE FILLED (Charles Spurgeon)

Oh, my brothers and sisters in Christ,

if sinners will be damned,

at least let them leap to hell over our bodies.

And if they will perish,

let them perish with our arms about their knees,

imploring them to stop,

and not madly to destroy themselves.

If hell must be filled,

at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions,

and let not one go there unwarned and unprayed for.

No, not one of those days...

I did get up on time this morning. On time is between 4:00 and 4:30 for me. I worked for an hour, made some biscuits (which didn't turn out so great as I'm trying these new "healthy" techniques), made my hubby's lunch, and went for my run. I love my running time because that's when I pray. I really enjoy starting my day out with the one friend I can always depend on -- God. While much about Him is a mystery, he is very predictable in terms of His relationship with me. He is the perfect friend. He is not only my friend, though. He is my Savior and Redeemer. He is the one to whom I cling yet I understand a face-to-face encounter would require an immediate change in my posture -- prostrate before him! He is not only a perfect friend, he is a Holy God. The two seem incompatible don't they? I mean, how can a Holy, All-Powerful, All-Knowing, Creator and Sustainer of all things take such a personal interest in my life? This is the same thought that prompted the psalmist to write, "What is man that thou art mindful of him?" I feel that way often! Yet, He is mindful. So, I do love my time with Him in the mornings. But, this morning's time was cut short. This is when it started becoming "one of those days". I was almost home when my cell phone rang and one of my kids was grumpily asking me where I was -- he had to leave for school and was not having a good morning. The biscuits didn't help either. I battled to suppress my own selfish responses to his grumpiness -- you know, thoughts like, "Hey, I have plans for the day and stuff I do, too, and..." Then I started thinking that one thing most of us probably desire is for someone to truly understand what we do all day -- the stresses we have, the sacrifices we make, the daily life we deal with, and our innermost thoughts, hurts, joys, fears, etc. It's very hard to understand the life of other people from their perspective. Honestly, most of us don't put much effort into it, but even when we try, it's difficult, if not impossible. Which brings me back to where I started today... I just love my time with God. He DOES understand. In fact, he understands even better than I do! Not only does he understand, but he desires to perfect those things in me -- the things no one else sees that drive my responses in life. That perfecting process gives me the opportunity not only for eternal life in a perfect state, but a life more abundantly while I'm in this earth suit, regardless of my circumstances. So, if this life is as bad as it will get for me in terms of eternity -- and my life really isn't bad at all; and if this life is only going to get better if I allow God to work on me to "perfect" me, then I think I can change my almost-grumpy, one-of-those-days attitude and get back to being joyful! Hmmm, I think this blogging is very therapeutic...

In the beginning -- me blog?

Do you ever get the feeling friends and family dread seeing an email in their in-box from you? I admit it -- my emails can get a bit lengthy from time to time. I have so many thoughts and so few ways to express them at this season of my life... So, why not start blogging? Sure, I'm a bit techno-challenged (is that a word?). Yes, I know, I know -- I don't even have time to do what I have to do, but, sometimes one just needs an unimposing outlet for those random thoughts, you know? So, I'm going to try my hand at blogging. Today, I've already emailed some friends and have so much to do, so I'll begin blogging in earnest later -- if I have time...