Loneliness

Lonely - alone - loneliness... wordnet.princeton defines loneliness as the state of being alone or in solitary isolation. Yes, that fits, but it's so much more...

The times I have felt most lonely are when I am surrounded by people with whom I feel no intimate connection, yet they all seem very connected to one another. Sometimes that loneliness comes even when surrounded by the most intimate people in my life. It is at those times it is most overwhelming. From time to time, that innermost person in me cries out to be known, yet I find myself lacking the ability to express that person or perhaps to even find that person. Then there is that part of me that is plagued with a deep belief that no one is really interested in that person, even if I could find her. There is nothing special about her -- no particularly unusual talents; no interesting adventures or stories to relate; no flare for speaking with interest about current events or other newsworthy discussion. My life is very full, but not at all exciting to most people. I have a big vision and big goals that I know are of utmost importance; and even though many would agree those goals are important, few would understand the apparent mundaneness of a life focused on those goals. I think if we were all honest, most of us would admit there are times when we are lonely -- even to the point of heartache. It is in those times I find comfort, once again, in my relationship with God. I know from His Word that he has felt everything I feel. He was an outcast -- rejected by those closest to Him in His most difficult hour. He was definitely misunderstood and most definitely could not express all that was within Him even to those closest to Him. (Their minds could not have comprehended that!) It is through my relationship with Him I find true companionship. Psalms 145:14-21 says, "The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down. The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them." He satisfies the desire of every living thing -- including those deep desires other relationships just can't touch. Perhaps that "loneliness" deep within us, then is by Divine Design...