Forgiveness Revisited

Everyone has at least one person or group of people in their lives that have caused them deep pain. We all have to deal with this issue of forgiveness, and it is admittedly a tough issue. The problem with unforgiveness is that it holds us prisoner. We think our bitterness punishes the other person or protects us, when in reality we are greatly harmed. Sometimes we may truly desire to forgive and try to forgive, but the wounds are so deep that complete forgiveness seems impossible. Sometimes we may have to face that hurtful situation day in and day out, and just when we think we have reached forgiveness, something happens that reopens that old wound. These are real issues. I find myself struggling in this area at times. It bothers me that the well of bitterness and unforgiveness seems to go deep and have an endless supply! The deeper the heart issue, the deeper I must dip into God's Word...

The first mention of forgiveness in the Bible is in Genesis 50:17. As a brief background, Joseph was the youngest of 12 brothers. Joseph was favored by his father, and Joseph flaunted it a bit. His brothers were extremely jealous and eventually plotted to kill him. The oldest brother talked the others out of killing Joseph, and in the end they sold Joseph into slavery. Joseph ended up in Egypt in a series of unpleasant circumstances, but was faithful to God through it all. Finally, God elevated Joseph to the position of second in command under Pharaoh because God had given Joseph wisdom to interpret dreams and Pharaoh had had two very troubling dreams. Through the dreams, Joseph predicted seven good years of harvest and seven years of famine. Pharaoh put Joseph in charge of preparing for the famine. During the famine, people from all over came to Egypt to buy food, including Joseph's brothers. Long story a bit shorter, Joseph's entire family ends up moving to Egypt, and years later when their father dies, Joseph's brothers are a little nervous that he will now seek revenge on them for all the evil they did. When Joseph realizes their fear, this is his response: "And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them."

What can I learn from this? Keys to forgiving:
1. Am I God that I can choose not to forgive?
2. God is in control of all my circumstances, even the ones that appear evil.
3. How I should respond out of forgiveness to those who hurt me.

I want to spend some time on the response. First, I should be willing to nourish them. The Hebrew word translated "nourish" means: to seize, contain, measure...to sustain, maintain, contain...to support, nourish... to endure...to be supplied. In other words, nourish is not necessarily an emotional response, but a calculated response – a choice to support and sustain.

My second response to should to comfort them, which means exactly what we think. Again, this is a choice, not necessarily an emotional response. Though, admittedly, emotions help in this regard!

Finally, I need to speak kindly unto them. This is where it gets interesting. Look at the definition of the Hebrew word translated "kindly": inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding, inner part, midst, heart (of man), soul, heart (of man), mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory. inclination, resolution, determination (of will), conscience, heart (of moral character), as seat of appetites, as seat of emotions and passions, as seat of courage.

Yes, nourishing, comforting and even words are all calculated responses and clear choices. There is a reason, though, that "words" was translated that way. You see, words are tricky. Yes, my words are my choice and come from my will, but ultimately, my words come from my heart. In Matthew 12:34, Jesus says, "...out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." Though forgiveness IS a choice, it cannot be feigned. It MUST be a heart understanding that I have no right to hold on to unforgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 puts it this way, "be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you." If I stop and truly consider my own need for forgiveness and the price Christ paid in order that I can be forgiven, it should melt away every hard place in my heart that wants to close against the possibility of forgiving and loving with the love of God.

If you read the joy blogs, you might remember in Psalms 51 that we have "inward parts" and "hidden parts" that we tend to purposely or inadvertently block off from God. I believe a vast majority of those "parts" have unforgiveness at their root. This is HUGE. If we can allow God to do His work in those areas and we choose to forgive from our hearts, we will experience healing and joy such as we have never known. This is what I seek. I pray you will as well.