The Dandelion Rejection

To him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. - James 4:17

I have recently been going through a book called Freedom Class Manual (Revalesio Ministries). The book covers topics such as The Power of Salvation, Our Original Design, Strongholds, The Authority of the Believer, Effect of Injustice, Blessings and Curses, and Intercession & Breaking Generational Patterns. I have been especially intrigued by the Strongholds chapter and its accompanying worksheets. Generally when I think of strongholds, I think of specific sins such as drug or alcohol addition, pornography or other sexual sins, bitterness, food addition, etc. This particular book takes the roots of those sins to the true strongholds and categorizes them as anger, fear, passivity, rejection, shame and unforgiveness.

As I was making my way through the worksheet on passivity - simply the opposite of initiation -- I began to see myself on the pages. I realized that I have for years lived in fear of doing good deeds. It's not only a fear of sharing the gospel, but an actual fear of doing something as simple as shoveling a neighbor's driveway. My fear has not stemmed from a desire for the good deed to remain anonymous, but it has been a fear of angering someone through an act of kindness. I have often thought to myself, "What if they don't want me to ....?" As much as I hate to admit it, this truth about myself is unavoidable. I can look back on my life and see that I have often found convenient excuses for passivity. It's not that the desire to do good was absent, but frequently I have been paralyzed by fear and have thus passed over countless opportunities to do good deeds. Now that I see this about myself, I can also see what an irrational and ungodly fear this is! As I have pondered the root of this fear, I have realized it does not stem from my family life. I had a happy, loving, stable family -- not perfect, but happy and secure. So, then, what? Why this fear? Slowly, another childhood memory began to surface. It was an event that seemed rather harmless. It was not one of those horrific things one often hears of that many children have to endure. It was probably no more than an adult having a bad day. But, over the years, I have recalled this event from time to time. It is a memory that has stuck with me and apparently effected me in a profound way. The event and its ensuring affect was undetected by anyone until now.

As a young child I would go out of my way to do kind things for anybody or anything. I was particularly fond of older people and animals and really enjoyed showing them affection. I was happy and friendly and uninhibited in my expression of those traits. I remember one warm summer day, I picked a lovely bouquet of dandelions. I excitedly ran to my elderly neighbor's back door and knocked on the door, smiling in anticipation of her joy at receiving my dandelion gift. Much to my dismay, she frowned down at me and told me she didn't want those weeds. I was really surprised and rather crushed, but I tried not to let it show. I really didn't understand why someone would reject my lovely gift.

Several years later, I recall my mother asking me a question. "What happened to you?" she asked, "You used to be so happy and so caring." I really didn't have any idea what had happened to me, but now I can see that I had become fearful of expressing joy and concern because of this one small grumpy-grown-up dandelion rejection.

I think there are several lessons to learn from the dandelion rejection. First, I think we as adults need to be extremely careful when interacting with children. The Bible says, "whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6). That is some serious talk by our Savior. If you want to see me get my dander up, just talk about an injustice inflicted upon a child by an adult. Nothing makes me angrier than child molestation and abuse! I have personally known several people who have been abused and have had to overcome many difficult things in their adulthood because of the horrific wrongs committed against them as a child. The satanic influence behind those wrongs and the strongholds created by those wrongs are very easy to identify. However, I have never stopped to think of the "small" wounds that occur in childhood that Satan can take advantage of. It took me 30 to 40 years to identify and question the irrationality of my fear that lead to passivity. Do you know how many good deeds were overlooked, how many missed opportunities were created by that one seemingly insignificant event in my life? Oh, how Satan used that and probably other events that followed to build as huge lie in my mind. The result? I have not become the person God created me to be. I have neglected the gifts He gave me. And I didn't even realize it! If I am so affected by this one small rejection, is it any wonder that so many kids, teens and adults struggle as a result of the huge injustices they faced as children? Adults, we MUST take heed to Jesus' warning. Our offenses to children are indeed serious!

Parents, another lesson we can learn from the dandelion rejection is to equip our children to recognize who they were created to be and to identify lies that would keep them from realizing that potential. I have no delusions about being a perfect mother. I have made mistakes in words and in deeds with my children. I will make more mistakes with them. I am saved and growing in grace daily, but I still mess up! I want my kids to be equipped to deal with any opportunities I or another individual may give the enemy to mess with them. I want their confidence to be in God and what He says about them. Not in any person or any person's actions toward them.

Finally, I think it is important for each of us to recognize our potential in Christ. Some of us grew up in circumstances that were horrible beyond description. Others grew up in good, loving, strong families. What I am learning is that regardless of circumstances, Satan's goal is to target those areas in which God has gifted us and make sure those gifts never come under the influence of the Holy Spirit. Satan's tactics for neutralizing us are many! On the other hand, regardless of our childhood experiences, God has gifted each of us and wants to fully empower those gifts to be used for His Kingdom and His glory. That means ALL of us! He loves us each dearly. He is so passionate about each of us that he willingly gave his life for us. He loves us so much, that he spoke harsh words to any who will harm us as children. So, we each have a choice. Admittedly, the choices may be painful and seem impossible for some, but they are still a reality. We have a choice to remain the person we have become in order to cope with injustices in our lives, or we can choose to allow God to heal the wounds inflicted by those injustices and transform us into our original design.