But I say unto you, Love your enemies… and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matthew 5)
I have a dear friend who I not only love but I greatly admire. I knew fairly early in our friendship that she had suffered abuse in her childhood. However, I had been friends with her for some time before I became aware of the extent of the horrendous abuses she endured early in life. I’m sure I am still only aware of “the tip of the iceberg” of her experiences. The little bit of understanding I do have of this time in her life would be hard to take gracefully had I learned of a complete stranger being subjected to such atrocities. But, when I hear of my close, dear friend going through such fire in her life, every fiber of my being wants to strike out at someone, something in pure anger. The questions in my mind fly like bullets – why?, who could…?, how can…?
The other morning I woke up with the song, “Forgiveness” (Matthew West) in my mind. I began that morning as most others, with a walk/jog and prayer time. As I was walking and praying, this song continued to play through my mind until I finally asked God if there was someone I need to forgive. My friend came to mind and I thought about the seemingly impossible task it must be for her to be able to forgive her abusers. As I thought about it, I realized that I need to forgive her abusers. Yet, it seemed impossible for me, even as distanced as I am from the actual events, to forgive them. I voiced that to God and then, after some struggle, affirmed to Him that I do forgive them, asking Him to do what only He can do to cause my heart to follow in obedience as well. Then I prayed for those I considered my enemies.
Since that prayer time, I have been contemplating the subject of forgiveness again. I have known for a long time that it is a command. I have also known there is power in forgiveness. I have visited this subject over and over again, always from a slightly different angle. On this occasion, as I reflected on my friend’s situation and all the resultant struggles and issues that have come out of that, God brought to my remembrance the above passage I quoted from Job. I had already known that Job was set free when he prayed for his friends (who had not been very good friends at all in his time of trouble). That truth in and of itself is powerful. However, what I had not really noticed until I looked back at this passage today is this:
The LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against you, and against your two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job has. Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job…
This is a lot to ponder. God’s acceptance of Job’s friends’ repentance and God’s show of mercy to them was contingent upon Job’s prayer. Wow! Now, theologically, I know God hears and accepts the sincere prayer of any sinner who repents. Nonetheless, this passage packs a powerful punch and another angle on the key role that our willingness to forgive plays in freedom – our freedom and the freedom of those who committed the offense.
Think of it this way; we are to be Jesus to those around us. There are three are intricately intertwined components of the mechanism of my forgiveness – Jesus’ forgiveness of me, my realization of my need for forgiveness, God’s application of forgiveness. It only makes sense that our willingness to forgive and pray for others (i.e., being an example of Jesus to them) can be key in opening the door for them to accept God's forgivenes and mercy.
I am sure I will continue to have questions about the horrible crimes committed against my friend, but one thing I think I understand more clearly now is my need to forgive her perpetrators. I know she has addressed this issue, but I now understand that I also must forgive them and pray for them. Doing so not only frees me, but also opens a greater opportunity for them to be freed from the bondage they are in due to their sin.
Humility --> forgiveness --> freedom.
With man this is impossible but with God ALL things are possible.
Follow Jesus, plus nothing.
I will close with the lyrics of the song I referenced above:
“Forgiveness” by Matthew West
It's the hardest thing to give away
and the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don't deserve
It's the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word...
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It's always anger's own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set It Free'
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
It'll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it's power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
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